I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
