Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
