Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
