So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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