i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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