I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
