i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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