Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
