Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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