We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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