it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
