I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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