Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
