I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
