May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
