Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
