hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
