the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize