On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
