Kareoke will never be a sober sport
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
