Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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