Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
