she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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