Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
