Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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