is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
