You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
