I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
