don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
vagina is talking i cant
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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