Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
