Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.

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(313): View more from Michigan

so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope my margaritas pass through security.

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(765): View more from Indiana

She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

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(804): View more from Virginia

he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms

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(518): View more from New York

But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.

(423): View more from Tennessee

Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!

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