i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
