Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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