So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Found the puke drawer
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
