I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
