I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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