just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize