Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
