dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
