TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
