Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think i have herpe
just one?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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