we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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