used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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