You smell like a Billy Joel song
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
