The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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