You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
