Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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