I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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