Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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