I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This baby is an asshole
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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