He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
