i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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