Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
