There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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