so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's shark week go big or go home
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
