so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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