david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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