Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.

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  (586): I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/nhl8
  Replies (14) Good night (2861) Bad night (1105)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing

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  (817): yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing http://tfl.nu/i2gp
  Replies (18) Good night (1371) Bad night (6862)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.

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  (804): Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush. http://tfl.nu/5pf3
  Replies (13) Good night (5308) Bad night (1750)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part

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  (715): I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part http://tfl.nu/to5h
  Replies (15) Good night (1042) Bad night (4311)
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  (916): View more from California

  I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

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  (916): I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one... http://tfl.nu/z7kq
  Replies (13) Good night (5938) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.

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  (308): Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/fw94
  Replies (14) Good night (6053) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.

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  (541): I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me. http://tfl.nu/habi
  Replies (16) Good night (3644) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

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  (979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74
  Replies (5) Good night (2894) Bad night (892)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?

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  (402): What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something? http://tfl.nu/b3em
  Replies (16) Good night (2442) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts

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  (925): We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts http://tfl.nu/eq30
  Replies (7) Good night (1751) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame

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  (613): The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame http://tfl.nu/x5yp
  Replies (4) Good night (655) Bad night (324)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson

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  (804): I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson http://tfl.nu/bost
  Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."

  (404): View more from Georgia

  BAT SHIT CRAZY

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's you're fault, even though I never called

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  (404): Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it." (404): BAT SHIT CRAZY (404): It's you're fault, even though I never called http://tfl.nu/893x
  Replies (2) Good night (602) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.

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  (775): I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it. http://tfl.nu/9xto
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.

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  (732): Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS. http://tfl.nu/p93u
  Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (422)

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