Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad