Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
