Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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