Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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