just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
