I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize