i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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