highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize