you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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