Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
