This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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